When hearing the horrific news that an amazing family of four died on Thanksgiving night, I felt numb and confused. A flood of memories rushed through me. All the "little things" that I had shared with this sweet bunch over the years came to me and it seemed too much to handle. All four of them. Gone. Forever. Good People. GREAT people. Why? Then I felt guilty, thinking that if I felt this overtaken with sadness, what about their families? How were they even waking up to this reality each day? How do they go on? A preventable death and, just like that, all short lives come to a tragic, unforeseeable end.At the funeral-for-four that all in attendance never would have imagined or predicted, the priest addressed what we were all thinking, "why do bad things happen to good people?", which happens to be a book, and not surprising as prople everyone has had at least one unfortuate experience in their lifetime when they have contemplated this. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/When_Bad_Things_Happen_to_Good_People).
He explained that the author, a rabbi, tackles this impossible-to-answer question only to conclude "I don't know". The priest agreed that there just isn't an explanation for such a travesty, not even a well-versed, biblical, God's Will one that is is 'job' to share with us. He went on to say that anyone who tries to comfort with words that ring more like shallow catch-phrases, despite well-intentions, should know that, no, it's just not okay. "Everything happens for a reason", "The Lord works in mysterious ways", "God loved this family so much that he took them early to be with him"...no, none of these are acceptable here. The deaths of an entire young family is simply not okay and it never will be.
And so an emptiness is left in many hearts as this family touched many, many lives. Some family members, I imagine their surviving siblings and parents. one who just lost his wife mere months ago for example, and now his daughter, son-in-law, and grandchildren all in one Thanksgiving Night swoop, will never be okay.
Knowing that this isn't right, that people like Parker, Caroline, Owen, and Sophie will never be replaced, that this situation is unfair and cruel, we can take that hard truth and do what we wish with it. The questioning, blaming, and what-never-could-be's will, realistically, always lurk. But, one can take such tragic loss and, though never make sense of it, try to make a little good out of a lot of bad. I will never know why bad things happen to good people, and I will forever want this priceless family back, but this much I know is true:
1) Caroline, the awesome mother of these awesome kids was always prepared. Organized, packed, safety first, over supplied, check-lists complete, healthy food and lifestyle, preventative measures always taken. As one of her good friends put it, this sneaky, silent, odorless, undetectable killer was the only thing that could have taken her and her family because she'd already been prepared and cautionary of everything else. We all wish she'd had this and if she'd ever heard a story like this before, she would have been equipped, that was Caroline.
- $10.99 for a portable detector, bring it with you wherever you may travel and after you get yourself one, get your friends and family one for Christmas then spread the word to all: http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.acorn-online.com%2Fjoomla15%2Findex.php%3Foption%3Dcom_content%26view%3Darticle%26id%3D15600%3Acarbon-monoxide-silent-killer-westonites-family-members-die-in-a-co-poisoning-tragedy%26catid%3D55%3Aweston-local%26Itemid%3D112&h=16eb06476e56d4d13513617488b47496
2) Along the same lines, I want to share some of the laws that their amazingly active families are already trying to pass, the least we can do is stay abreast on them if not support them in a more significant way:
- The Lofgren Family Home Safety Act: http://www.rockymountainnews.com/news/2008/dec/10/family-friends-urge-passage-carbon-monoxide-legisl/
- And another that I don't have a link to just yet, is "50 before 50" where all states would have the co detector requirements in place before Caroline, the mother, would have turned fifty.
3) We can all learn how to better ourselves from the good of those that surround us. This family shared their blessings with those around them. They were not only instant and genuine friends to those they knew but they were very actively involved in their community, reaching out to others as well. Soon, I will be posting organizations that they were generously a part of so that those of us who can and choose to do so can help continue their work out.
I miss you, Lofgrens, and not a day goes by that I don't think about you and wish for you back. Thank you for the memories that I always will have, though...especially of you two, Owie and Soph! Love you little angels :)
