"Choo, Choo, Choo...Reed Havenar's no longer TWO!"

My "baby" is THREE!
This is the first birthday that Reed "owned". It was all about him and his good time with friends, only a handful of his nearest-and-dearest as opposed to the bigger groups we have had in the past (which often included OUR friends with kids). It was priceless to see him interact with his "buddies" and also a bit embarrassing for me, too, when he played favorites with a few instead of including all...natural, I know, but not in my adult, "social etiquette" comfort-zone :).

Reed has been having on-and-off behavior at school and it often includes his interactions with his buddy/girlfriend-of-sorts :), partner-in-crime, Annie. She was his side-kick at his party, too, and the only one "picked" to sit by him on the train, for pictures, etc.. Other guest included friends Emerson and Brady, Annie's twin Ben, usual BFF Bella and her mom Jess, the three grandparents, and cousin Cooper.

We celebrated at the Colorado Railroad Museum in Golden, and it was wonderful! Balloons, pizza, and cake on the "party car" all to ourselves and train rides for the kids. Roamed the grounds a bit, too, and Reed could have cared less if we were there, I think, he was in his "element" :) and a happy, social butterfly to say the least. He's growing so fast and, though it makes me sad that all of our family can't be a part of these experiences and changes, we treasure every day of them and honor each year of memories with a day of reflection and BIRTHDAY FUN. We love you, dear dear REED! :)

Reed Starts Pre-school (boo-hoo, sniff-sniff) ;)

Last February, I got teary when Steve and I visited some pre-schools because I just couldn't believe we were turning that "big boy" corner...I am sentimental and over-emotional about such things (I already know to prepare myself with much kleenex for real "milestones" in my children's' future). So, when his 1st day came, I should have known that it was a parent issue just as much as Reed's when the separation was difficult. As rough-and-tumble as he is, our firstborn is an attached, sensitive little thing!

We took pictures and did the long goodbye on Day 1, and Steve even got watery, too...who wouldn't when your son is clinging to your leg pleading, "Daddy, I don't want you to GO!!!!". Day two was the worst, he sputtered out through sobs, "Mommy, I want you to stay one and two and three and four more times" (which I took to mean "a long time" in 2-year old language). He also told me he "needed to suck his fingers again", which killed me as he never has done this, so I wondered if that was a self-soothe thing he'd discovered? (Pretty introspective and so sad, I thought!). I picked him up that day to find him in a change of pants and his teacher handed me a bag with his wet ones, along with his lunchbox with untouched food as he didn't want to eat, either. She explained that he'd cried on and off all day. On the way home he told me, "Dereck pushed me. He is BAD. The teacher said 'Dereck, we don't push our friends!'. Mommy, that's BAD". Sigh...
...and that night was back-to-school night. I felt that the teachers were only talking directly to us (though I realistically know that they weren't) when we all signed "potty contracts" which basically said that if our kids were still having a hard time with their training at school, it was legitimate for them to ask us to find another school with week's notice. Um, great. So, I cried again that night...this time out of despair as the "mama bear" came out in me, my poor baby :)!

Day three was much better...one of his best...and I chalked up my tears from the night before to my own back-to-school exhaustion. Note to self, I reminded my thoughts: this new experience is indeed NEW to us all, of course it's not going to be "butterflies and rainbows" from the get-go, though that's all I'd pictured when I'd happily read pre-school books to him all summer and when we'd merrily shopped for and packed up new classroom supplies, taken pictures of his cuteness (lunchbox in hand and all) in the yard, etc.! The teacher in me, I guess ;)

Despite the center's director mentioning to me that Reed "has lasted the longest" of all the 'criers', and also the morning that a parent said to me upon drop-off, "oh, he's so cute. I felt so sorry for him the other day when I peeked in their room to see it was him that was crying so hard", each day his tears have lessened from the previous and we have even had two NO TEAR days. I actually almost shed happy ones the day he looked super nervous but instead of crying seemed to think things through to get his act/courage together and exclaimed, "after a while, crocodile!" as I was leaving.

I still have some Kinders in my room who cry for their parents when saying goodbye in the morning and we are one more week into school than my Reed, so I am proud of his gradual-though-definite bravery during this big adjustment (and, may I say, of mine too ;)).

Back-to-School/Greener Grass

Billy Madison's ditty says it best, and I always have it in my head when August arrives as that's "THE month" that we all head back to school, with some excitement but also with reluctant dragging of heals.

Having left the only school I have ever taught at and known behind, and for nine years at that, it was unsettling to "learn the ropes" again, so to speak. I am not only in a new school, but also a new district and grade-level as well. My old district consisted of six elementary schools, whereas my new district has, oh, roughly sixty-five. I taught intermediate grade-levels in my former days and now have a handful of 5-year olds, some still four. Parent involvement used to be extremely minimal, now I have a parent who organizes the many volunteering parents in a schedule for me...wow! I love both of these very different worlds for varying reasons.

What I will miss about my 'old world' is the dear, close friends that share so many "glory days" memories with me, hilarous never-to-be-topped student/community/parent/staff tales that never cease to crack us up still. Trips to Vegas, late nights in Denver, scandelous gossip :). These friends were there for me in hard times...September 11th, 2001 was my first month teaching, tears were also shed during my "final" break-up with Steve (luckily not-so-final :)), and later, my miscarriage. These same friends were very influencial to me in both my professional teaching life and my personal life, you know...the kind of people that make you strive to be a better person. Spending my days with these people, seeing them as many, or more, hours in the week as I do my own family...is something I will miss. But, they are not why I moved on...

Sadly, the leadership in my building changed and so did some of the staff. While some of this was needed and initially a good thing, or so I thought, it turned ugly. It amazes me how one poisneous person can negatively effect an entire staff. Personal vendedas, threats behind closed doors, extreme and unpreditable highs and lows, etc., took a toll on many who worked there, and I had to ask myself why I was even a part of this environment anymore? Take it or leave it? Bite the bullet or dodge it? So, I decided to seek greener grass before being completely sucked into the dark cloud that was expanding over our building. Fortunatley, the stars aligned perfectly and, as dramatic as it may sound, I feel like I was kind of saved in a way.

My new school couldn't be a happier place. Integrity, morale, support, positive feedback, and just all-around decency (note to self, employees and employers: such character traits and virtues WORK in the workplace :)). BTW, my perspective is not just from a new, ignorace-is-bliss, naive point of view. Believe me, I did my homework/P.I. work before making the big leap! While the complete newness of my job brings daily challenges, the happiness and comfort I feel each day in my surroundings is well worth the change. Breathing easier these days and smiling because of it. Change is GOOD...you may remember from earlier blogs that I am one who has to often remind myself of that :).

So, here's to the pursuit of happiness (good movie, btw :)), and, hopefully, a year of Kindergarten bliss!

p.s. Pics are of my new room, Reed my setting-up helper...he found the loft right away..."LADDDDER!", and my school. Happy Back-to-School to all!