Whatta Day

I woke up groggy this morning after going to bed later than usual due to parent-teacher conferences. We had to wake Reed up to get him ready for day care, he usually wakes on his own...we would have all rather slept in on this Wednesday! Tired and cranky (both of us), wouldn't eat breakfast and whiny through diaper/clothing change (just him :)). Finally R headed out the door with dad. Scrambled to get myself ready next, after sweeping all the various foods that had been spit onto the floor, also finally headed out the door as well. Almost to school, got a call from his nanny that the lil' one was sick and we may need to get him. Half a day later in the astonishingly-corrupt school I get to call my work environment, I finally get "outta there" and back to my increasingly sick tot. A few smiles outside in the warm sun and cuddles with dad before the tone of the day rears its ugliness again. Dinner is a battle...food trial-and-error pulled out of fridge and pantry. All spit on floor again (with the exception of applesauce). Dip the cranky child in warm bath after letting the room 'steam' a bit while he cries because of being put down momentarily and, ahh, finally a few minutes of relief. Cold/warm shakes, get him out, screams pathetically ('sick scream', about half of usual volume). Dad leaves for basketball. Bottle, medicine, footed football pj's (he says "ball" in agreement to these), and time for books. We are both exhausted. Lights out. Throws up ALL over us. I want to cry. He does cry. Clean up (again) and plop in chair, even more exhausted, about to reach for book. On my lap, he curls his body to the side, folds his hands like he is praying (maybe he knows I need one right now :)), and falls into a deep, snorty-'cuz-congested, sleep. I do cry. Despite all, he is my release of the bleak and a reminder of the sweet. My purpose and perspective. Whatta Day :).

"Cancer Sucks"

My blog won't always be about death, I swear it, but unfortunately it has gone in that direction as of late. Unjustly so, five young lives of amazing people I have known over the years have been taken from them over the last month and a half.

Megan, who I wrote about more in my last entry, passed away yesterday afternoon and will forever be missed and still the laughs continue as all who have known her, even if briefly, surely have a funny "McBride story". One that I remember that made me smile today was when Megan was riding on Alex's back on the way back home from a formal. He was scolding her for being so dumb to wear such uncomfortable shoes and she was firing back at him not to be such a jerk, he back at her threatening to drop her if she didn't stop talking, she back at him...all very "sober" and rational conversation . They ended up smooching on the porch as if none of the previous had taken place which I found to be hilarious, odd, and just cute. Years later, they were married and who would have known that just years after that, when they had wanted to start a family, instead she would lose her battle to cancer at the age of 31. "Cancer sucks".

This blunt catch-phrase adorned the buttons that her sister Sara passed out for us to wear in Chicago for a walk in her honor last spring. Her dad, from what I have been told, has continued to wear it ever since, can you imagine having to go through this with a child?

Please keep this special family in your thoughts and prayers as they now face a new, daunting life without their Megan. Fight, too, for a cure to this nasty disease for all who have been affected by it in some way (and that, unfortunately, is probably all of us) and for all who hopefully can be prevented from its curse in the future.

Peace, Love, and Happier Times in '09.

(Off to suffocate Reed with hugs again....poor unknowing little man :))

Continued...

My last entry was entitled "When Bad Things Happen to Good People", and, unfortunately, this entry applies to that heading as well so I just gave it a "continued..." label.

This is an appeal to those of you who pray, send good karma vibes, or simply wish happy thoughts for the new year upon others to please add a special girl to you list.

A pledge sister of mine, Megan McBride Franz, was diagnosed with StageV cancer less than a year ago. At the vibrant (and if you ever met her- even once- she gives a new meaning to "vibrant"!), young age of 30, she was given the news nobody wants to hear in their lifetime. Since then, she has endured and fought with all her heart and strength, the uphill battle of her cancer.

Though I haven't kept in touch with Megan much since our college years, I was able to see her last spring when many of us gathered for a race in her honor in Chicago, organized by her passionate and dedicated sister Sara. I was overwhelmed then, and continue to increasingly be, by the love, support, and numbers that surrounds her, all of which simply come up short in being able to help her defeat this nasty disease.

So, although these last postings haven't exactly brought holiday cheer, it is where I am at in my thinking process as of late! While contemplating the unfairness of such stories, I find myself feeling helpless, frustrated, and sad as you know from these postings. I also, though, have held close the happiness, spontaneity, and love in each and every day more so than before. I hug my Reedo a bit tighter, laugh a bit more than I scowl at Steve's inappropriate humor :), and try my best to put the "little things", good and bad, into perspective, ultimate goal of course to focus on the positive and let the negative drift away!

Please take this new year ahead and do what you want with it, make it what you really want. Have you put off that vacation with your family? Not sat down with your grandparents for as long as they'd like? Any friends from the days of old you would like to head down memory lane with again? Job change? Need to exercise more or eat better? Take on each day as if it's one of your last. Easier said than done, yes, but even a handful of such days would be a great addition to any new year!

I am truly hopeful that the year ahead brings a life perspective you may not have had and new happiness, big or small. May you spread this good to others, reaching out however you may be able to. And, please send your good thoughts Megan's way in hopes that she has peace in her days, each one now savored, at home with her family.

You can follow her baffling journey at:
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/meganfranz

p.s. Megan is the ULTIMATE Jayhawk fan, nothing compared to us Gugats even. She rode Danny Manning's shoulders throughout basketball camp in her very young days, her blood true crimson and blue since her Kansas-roots birth. We dedicate last night's win and 2008's "Year of the Jayhawk" to her as she has cheered her team on to many victories whole-heartedly no matter how horrible she's felt physically.

Happy 2009 to you readers and here's to brighter days and entries to come.